Mini Breakdown in Banana Republic Fitting Room

I walk into a Banana Republic outlet fitting room with about 10 articles of clothing. Try them on. Tried a size bigger than my size about a year ago. And nothing would fit. Well, at least not nicely. Darn! Went hyper-acidic. Maybe hyperventilated a little bit, too. Sinking deeper into depression. Must lose all this freakin' weight again! Can't keep on doing the yo-yo weight dance. I just can't. Will swim next week. Hope I fit into my bathing suit.

Really???

Really?! Duet with Dr. Manny Calayan and Martin Nievera? Or simply, Manny Calayan, "recording artist"? Really???

Really?! Senate probes on the Hayden Kho and Katrina Halili "issue", but 93 students per classroom in the public schools. Really???

I love my country, but... really?!

Still Can't Believe My Luck and Other Thoughts on the Journey Home

As usual, I was so excited to go home. How can I not when this was what was waiting for me?

OK, so I just had to include these adorable web cam photos that I took the Saturday before my trip.

The last time I went home, I was lucky enough to have been given a courtesy upgrade to business class. I was telling Roomie that I wondered if it was too much to ask for another one this time. Lo and behold, I get to the counter and the ground steward tells me that they were, once again, putting me in business class. Who am I to refuse???

Bye bye NY:

So I travel in style again. You just have to understand why I can't believe my luck. And as I've mentioned before, I was given a silver membership in the Cathay Pacific frequent flyers' Marco Polo Club. So even if I only got an upgrade for the NY-HK leg of my trip, I get access to the business lounge in HK. Damn. You have to give it to these HKers, they have a noodle bar in the lounge. I sat right next to the bar and tried all the noodles that my stomach would allow. And with a meal of noodles and dimsum, I can refuse the sub par sandwich that they serve on the HK-Manila flight. Good food will always make an almost 24 hour trip comfy. I actually almost skipped the sleeping for the entire trip and made the most of the gastronomic fare in the business lounges and in the plane. My only regret is that I missed snack time and wasn't able to try the beef brisket noodle soup on the plane. I guess I already had too much of the other offerings that I just wasn't hungry enough.

Another thing that kept me awake was the in-flight movie selection. They had all the Oscar winners, but I chose to keep it light and saw four movies (I swear, sometimes the trip is just too short!): Marley and Me, Red Cliff and Red Cliff 2, and Twilight.

It was good that I had my own cubicle in business class as I was bawling at Marley and Me. The movie had a simple plot: the relationship of a dog and a family. Although the story had few complications, it really tugged at the heartstrings. Owen Wilson and Jennifer Aniston gave depth to their simple roles. I thought it was a good two hours spent.

Red Cliff and Red Cliff 2 are epic John Woo movies starring Tony Leung of Chungking Express fame. John Woo would probably be better known for directing Hollywood films such as MI2 and Face/Off. These two HK movies are war films about the battle for Red Cliff at the end of the Han Dynasty. Tony Leung plays Grand Viceroy Zhou Yu who, along with his allies, defends the Red Cliff with utmost skill and cunning. The action was very satisfying and the movie was aesthetically pleasing. Tony Leung. Need I say more? These movies occupied another good six hours of my trip.

With only a few hours left of the flight, I decided to see what all the Twilight hullabaloo was all about. Apologies to fans of the movie (I can only speak about the movie as I have no intention of reading the books), but I thought it was a complete waste of time. Good thing I didn't have anything better to do. I ended up fast forwarding through so many scenes because there was just too much heavy breathing and staring and blinking. To be honest, it seemed to me like a beautifully set B-movie. The film is like a painting... better if there was no movement.

So when I finally get to Manila, my bags were among the first ones out on the carousel. Darn, love these frequent flyer programs. Overall, the trip home was great. And I'm now enjoying the company of the twins and I think I won't be doing regressions any time soon. Have to get to planning the twins' first birthday party.

In transit HK-Manila:

Beautiful sunset greets me in Manila:

Itago na Lang Natin Sila sa Pangalang...

Ako'y magsusulat sa aking wikang nakamulatan sapagkat may mga maaaring makaunawa kung hindi ko ito gagawin. Subalit nais ko talagang ipahiwatig ang kanilang kakapalan ng apog. Wow, heavy. Talagang kailangang sumulat ako tungkol dito dahil ako'y talagang bothered to the point of anger. Sorry, Taglish.

Ayon nga sa aking pamagat, itago na lang natin sila sa pangalang Prinsipe at Prinsesa. Kaya ito ang ginamit ko ay--bukod sa ang mga tunay na pangalan nila ay tulad ng prinsipeng malaki ang tainga at yumaong prinsesa ng isang bansa sa Europa--sila ang prinsipe at prinsesa ng kagulangan. Ever.

Ang kwento. Nagyaya ang prinsesang magdiwang ng kanyang pagtatapos sa kurso. Kahit marami akong alituntunin at kapos sa salapi, pumayag na rin ako dahil hapunan lang naman. Nandoon sa hapunan ang ibang kaibigan ni Prinsesa at pati ang kanyang nobyong si Prinsipe. Buong panahon na kami'y nagdedesisyon kung ano ang aming kakainin, ako'y nagkukwenta sa isip kung kaya ko bang bayaran ang aking hapunan. Kaya naman ako'y kumuha na lamang ng sopas at isa pang maliit na plato. Tanong ng nagsisilbi kung anong iinumin, tubig. Maliban din sa kape matapos ng hapunan, wala na akong kinuhang iba. Ako'y namangha na halos hindi lalampas sa dalawampung salapi ang aking babayaran.

Uwian na. Tumayo si Prinsesa upang pumunta sa banyo. Kinuha ni Prinsipe ang kwenta. Tanong ng mga tao kung magkano ang kanilang babayaran. Tanong ni Prinsipe, "Ay, hindi ba natin babayaran yung kay Prinsesa?" Tanong ko sa sarili, "Bakeeet???" At dahil hindi ko gaanong kilala ang mga taong nandoon, wala akong nasabi. Hinati ni Prinsipe nang pantay pantay ang kwenta at umabot sa LIMAMPUNG SALAPI ang aking babayaran. Para sa sopas at maliit na plato. Limampung salapi.

Heto ang mga dahilan kung bakit ako'y galit na galit. Una, si Prinsesa ang nagyaya, bakit ako ang pinagbayad? Pangalawa, tatlo silang kasama namin ang magtatapos ngayong taon, bakit si Prinsesa lang ang nililibre? Si Prinsesa na may hanapbuhay na nung kami'y nag-uusap nung hapunan ay pinagmamalaki na kaya nyang magbayad ng renta para sa dalawang tirahan at may matitira pa na hindi na nya malaman kung saan gagamitin. Ikatlo, halos lahat sila (sapagkat may mga hanapbuhay ang karamihan ng mga kasama namin) ay kumpletong kurso ng pagkain ang kinuha (ensalada, malaking piraso ng karne ng baka, alak, atbp.). Dalawa kaming mag-aaral pa rin na halatang nagtitipid dahil isang kurso o mura lang ang kinuha. Kaya naman lumalabas na sinubsidize naming dalawa ang kinain nilang lahat. Bakit nga naman sila hindi papayag na pantay pantay ang hatian??? At ikahuli, nang ihatid ako sa aking tahanan, ang huling bati sa akin ni Prinsipe, "Magkita kita muli tayo bago magtapos ang taon... maghanda KA ng isang malaking pagdiriwang!" REALLY??? You have got to be kidding me!

Napakakapal naman talaga ng kanilang mga kaapugan. Don't you agree? Hinding hindi na mauulit. Kahit kailan.

A Wonderful Surprise In My Inbox

Let's swim back to the surface and take a breath from dissertation despair... it's spring break after all.

This morning, a message in my inbox says "Marco Polo Club Account Statement". And I look again. It's not an Asia Miles statement? No, it's certainly not. Apparently, my frequent flights to Manila have finally paid off. I am a now a proud silver tier member of the Marco Polo Club, Cathay Pacific Airlines' frequent flyer program.

What's the big deal? As I understand it, membership in the club gives me, an economy class flyer, benefits that you would certainly appreciate on journey that lasts nearly 24 hours. The benefits are a considerable amount of excess baggage allowance (we Pinoys know we need this), priority boarding, and best of all, access to the Business Lounge (man, they have croissants and quiches... and wine! in here), to name a few. These are benefits that I, a graduate student who is so poor that the US government refunds almost all of the income taxes I paid, can only dream of.

And speaking of the Business Lounge. I've never written about my Business Class experience when I was going home for my dad's funeral. It's two days after I learned what happened and I'm waiting at the check in counter.

"You're gonna love me for this...," he informs me happily that I have been upgraded to the business class. And, oh, did I ever! I was so surprised that I didn't know what to tell him except that he was the nicest person... EVER (a la Clueless)! I didn't even ask for an upgrade but fate would have it that I would have my own cubicle to privately break down if I wanted to. I'm only sorry that I wasn't able to thank that steward properly. He didn't know what he did for me that day. My only advice to you girls is take those five seconds to put a little lipgloss on when you travel.

If you haven't read Brian's blog (http://brianbelen.blogspot.com/) on Cathay Pacific's business class, I'll write a little about it here.

You have your own cube. From your seat (or your bed, however you prefer it), you won't see anything but the feet of the person beside you if s/he puts it up. The flight attendant knows your name and offers you cocktails with names such as Cloud Nine. The snacks actually merit their own menu with stuff like crab dumplings which are actually pretty tasty. Definitely a lot of steps higher than the Nissin cup noodles that you have to beg for in coach. But if you just wanted biscuits or a piece of chocolate, just walk into the kitchen and take what you want. You eat with actual cutlery. You get a little bag of designer cosmetics and you sleep with a down comforter.

Yes, the guy that gave me that upgrade is probably going to be staying a year less in purgatory. I'm just glad to have experienced business class in my lifetime. Now I know to just ask for an upgrade everytime.

It's a Beautiful Day to Wake Up to U2

A free U2 concert in school was enough to get us to drag our asses out of bed before 4 in the morning. For some reason, Fordham was lucky enough to have been contacted by the group or Good Morning, America. Whatever the reason (Fr. McShane gave a couple of reasons that I really don't remember... must be because it was too early, or the potheads that were toking up behind us), I'll take U2 for breakfast anytime.

After four hours of lining up in the cold...

... suffering through the not-too-funny warm up guy and having to go through the actual show for Good Morning America without seeing U2 (while trying to fend off the potheads in the mosh pit)...

... they finally come out...

And as an added bonus, especially for Justin (who first sounded us off on the whole thing)...

Seeing Bono's lavender specs, the Edge's beanie, Mullen's chest, and Clayton's silver hair (he was surprisingly cute!) AND hearing the music, of course, was worth all the trouble for it. Then it was time to go home... with a smile.

Aaah... The Smell of Chinatown in the Morning

A trip to the doctor would rarely be associated with pleasant thoughts. However, having my doctor's appointments scheduled in the morning and when she's in her Chinatown office makes the visit just a tad more tolerable. In the morning, Chinatown feels more like Nersesian's New York--before tourists eclipse its heart and soul. The smells of Chinatown, both pungent and aromatic, bring a sense of melancholy that I can only attribute to a sense of oneness with the city.

And what better way to bond with the city than to make friends with its food. Although I have bought both the brown and the white buns from Mei Lei Wah, I've never actually sat down to eat at the place.

So I walk in this morning and I immediately felt like I was walking into a Wong Kar-Wai film. With its renovated interiors, the bakery now has booths. This morning, almost all the booths were occupied by only one diner each who most likely had a coffee, a brown bun and a Chinese newspaper, all facing the street. All patrons seem to have been transported directly from Hong Kong or Mainland China to NYC and seemed like they were regulars. Taking my own booth, I also get the $1 coffee (which is not bad at all) and the 80-cent brown bun. However, although I was the only female patron at the time, I was to have the biggest meal by also having a wonton noodle soup. I'm forever in search of good noodle places. And I was pleasantly surprised to find one of the best noodle soups I've ever had, in a bakery of all places. Theirs had the thin egg noodles that I prefer; the wontons actually had pork, shrimp, and flavor; and the broth was so good I actually sipped every last drop of it. Although extremely simple and common, this particular meal was much appreciated and carried me through the freezing temperature throughout most of the morning.

This morning, Chinatown felt more like a small town where people stop to chat, have coffee, read a newspaper; rather than the monster that it becomes towards the end of the lunch hour. Never was it so pleasant to have three vials of blood taken out from my veins.

Photo from http://uktv.co.uk

My First Real Red Lipstick

Let's be really shallow and narcissistic now and talk about lipstick.

With roomie's growing obsession with red lipstick, going all the way to Brooklyn to get her fix, I thought about why I don't have one at all. I remember playing with my mom's lipsticks when I was a girl and as lipsticks in the 80s go, they were in all shades of pink or red only. And I did like the reds, a lot.

So while looking around at Camille's happy place, Sephora, instead of just watching her try stuff, I ventured into the NARS section since roomie said they had some of the best reds around. I was drawn to Red Lizard. Not a very attractive name, but the color seemed like the glamorous red that I just had to try. I try it on and really, really liked it. Very old Hollywood, as the make up message boards suggest. I don't really know about that, but I sure did notice the cute guy who didn't know what to do with himself at a cosmetics store look over at me with a smile. I can only credit that... to the lipstick effect. After all, being in recession and in mourning doesn't mean you have to look bad.

Back to Swimming

Went back to swimming after two months of being sedentary. Went back to swimming because I'm an overweight hypertensive diabetic waiting to happen. Went back to swimming with the Fordham Geriatric Swim Team. Haha! No one was younger than 50 in the pool at noon, but me.

Quotable Quotes

"Doc, ang buhay hindi pinahahaba... pinasasarap."

--My Dad, Levy, to his cardiologist when he was being told to have a healthier lifestyle after his heart attack almost two years ago. Oh did he "live" up to this.

This actually made it to Chico's Top 10--It was number one.

Non-Eulogy for Daddy

It must be the most excruciatingly painful experience of my life at this point. The loss of my dad. Even looking at my twin nieces, the joys of our lives, makes my heart feel like someone is wringing it dry. Remembering how my dad’s singing made them so excited that they would coo their hearts out along with his voice makes my heart sink to my gut.



The other day, I went to the bank with my aunt. My eyes burned with unshed tears under the fluorescent lights because I am not there with him. This was our thing, my dad’s and mine. Our trips to the bank would be followed by an unending search for the most satisfying merienda around Marikina. But that day was another testimony to the finality and reality of his passing. We were at the bank to straighten out his affairs. To pick up land titles and insurance certificates and other documents whose names are to be transferred to us, those he had left behind.


Having experienced no other life-changing loss and realizing how attached I am to this man so notorious for his moodiness makes life ahead unimaginably lonely. I no longer wait for him to come home late from work to help me do my work problems in math. I no longer need him to carry me on his back to the deepest end that he can reach when we go to the beach. I no longer need him to pick me up from friends’ houses. No, I don’t need him for these things anymore. I need him for so much more. I need him to be in my life. But the memories will have to do.



Although we mourn, our loss was testament to the love we are so blessed with. My dad hated eulogies, he wouldn’t have wanted one. I don’t think he needs one either. At the nadir of our lives, the outpouring of love from family and friends that I was witness to is enough to eulogize my dad whose spirit was much, much stronger than his body.